“Success is not about being perfect. It's about being honest and real.” - Unknown

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My February Has Been A Dumpster Fire...

It's no secret I'm fighting a chronic case of rheumatoid arthritis.

It's no secret I struggle with pain...some days much worse than others.

It's no secret that I often push my body well past where I should to maintain my reputation of a high producing high-achiever.

February FORCED me to slow the fuck down and question a lot of things about myself, my business, and even what the hell I'm trying to accomplish day in and day out.

How It Started...

February 1st I woke up with OBVIOUS sinus issues. My head was pounding, my face hurt, I cancelled my whole day. Feb 2 wasn't any better. I felt PROUD that I cancelled my appointments and took time to REALLY rest. No screen time. No meetings. The most energy I exuded was to take my happy ass to the bathroom a few times through the day...and let me tell you, even that was a freaking chore.

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday of the next week, I opted to work from bed. Still feeling good about taking it easy and resting, but the guilt of not getting a lot done was starting to creep in. Cuz that's how I roll...take ANY time "off" and it takes no time at all for me to feel like a damn failure. Can you say, "What the hell?!"

How many of you have thought/felt/experienced that same stupid guilt? I see you raising your hand, because I KNOW, as women, we somehow got brainwashed into thinking taking care of ourselves and not doing ALL THE THINGS is failure. Again, What The Actual Fuck?!

I Actually Started To Worry...

Week Two of the dumpster fire wasn't any better. In fact, it was probably the WORST of the three weeks I was down. I remember Friday of that week, I was so damn tired I couldn't make myself get up, so I didn't have Joel to help me down Mt. St. Staircase.

When I finally got up and around so I could get the kids out the door for school, I realized I was too weak to even TRY to make it down to my desk by myself. For most people, spending another sick day in bed isn't that big of a deal, but I've got a dog.

That particular day, my anxiety was SUPREMELY heightened because I couldn't let the dog out midday. I accepted he might make a mess in the floor, and I felt bad, but I had no choice but to accept it. He on the other hand, gave me a big middle finger and decided to destroy my husband's $300 of headphones that he left on top of the living room stereo. SO NOW, I feel terrible for neglecting the dog and I feel bad that it's affected my husband...and this friends isn't even what bothered me most!!!

Monday of week 2 my oldest came down with a cold. Her symptoms and fever were bad enough, I started to worry that I caught the Covid for the second time. I WAS RELIEVED. Covid gave me a valid excuse to be a lazy, helpless, and unproductive.

Mother Scratcher...it WASN'T Covid.

Here we are, over 10 days I've barely left my bed. Some days my head is pounding. Some days I'm just EXHAUSTED. Some days I stay in bed, thinking I can make it downstairs by myself, to realize hours later that that was a lie.

Every day, the guilt is mounting.

Remember...I spent the first 8 months of 2023 stuck in my bedroom. Various reasons, mostly excuses, but I vowed I wasn't going back there. And here we are Month 2 of 2024 and I'm two weeks deep in barely venturing down Mt. St. Staircase. So not only am I not getting shit done...I'm reverting back to terrible health habits.

Man! The voices in my head had me so worked up I started consider that I was burn out. Maybe I was depressed. Maybe I was ready to burn everything to the ground. Mostly "WTF man!!"

The Good News...

I'm sure you're surprised when I say I have ZERO problem with telling people I'm a genius 😂 When it comes to health stuff, I often do super dumb things. After we ruled out Covid and I was pretty concerned with depression, I was watching Chicago Med or some similar show. Brohamsky was like on his death bed, taking over the counter meds for something that the doctors thought was putting him in liver failure. They fixed that and dude kept getting worse...cuz he stopped taking his thyroid meds.

Seriously, I felt like God was slapping me upside the head. When I started taking so many sinus pills, I stopped taking my prescriptions because it was upsetting my stomach. Two weeks without thyroid meds is a big No No for JKN. It literally throws my entire body into EXTRA chaos...INCLUDING jacking with my emotions🤦🏽‍♀️

It's Fine. I'm Fine.

Here we are. End of week 3. It took that long to start to feel like my old self; to get strong enough to make it down Mt. St. Staircase; to literally get my head on straight.

In all that time that I was working from bed I had a ton of time to think. It occurred to me, very few people talk about this kind of behind the scenes bullshit that makes life so hard. We always see the good things on social media. The successes. The Instagramable things.

I'm sure you're surprised when I said "F that." I have never been shy when it comes to talking about my health struggles, but I've never gone out of my way to SHARE. So here we are! I don't know how often I'll post, but when bad shit, stupid shit, annoying shit, uninstagramable shit happens, I'm gonna talk about it. I'm here to normalize real life. I'm here to celebrate real life. It's time to take authentic to a whole new level and give my community a new voice to celebrate the smallest wins.

I hope you'll join me in this new experiment!!

Join the Conversation

Now it's your turn to shine, ladies! Share your thoughts, questions, and hilarious anecdotes in the comments below. Let's laugh, learn, and rewrite the rules of entrepreneurship together. Because when it comes to building badass businesses, there's no one I’d rather do business with than you!